Bikini Bloodbath Carwash
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Bikini Bloodbath Carwash

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The horror flick has become one of the most popular genres in movies today. Now I’m not talking about classic films like the Universal monster movies of the early thirties or movies such as ‘The Exorcist’. Unfortunately the current trend is towards really low budget, poorly made flicks that have flooded the market. The worse thing about many of these flicks is they are made to be serious horror movies but they come across more as comedies than anything remotely scary. The up side is there are a few such movies that are produced as satires of this current direction in horror. The parody the worse attributes of the hackney flicks and work as comedy horror films. One such movie is ‘Bikini Bloodbath Carwash’. When I first opened the package and saw that this movie was up for a preview I do admit that a shudder came over me. The cover art depicts some bikini clad, very well endowed young women standing in a pool of blood. Making matters worse this is a sequel to ‘Bikini Bloodbath’. Now usually with a sequel where I have not seen the original I hope I can follow the story line. With a film like this I was sure there was so little in the first flick that this should not present a problem. As I watched I began to see things in a different way. Yes, this is a bad flick but it embraces its corniness never taking itself seriously. It is one of those films that are so bad that it had to be done on purpose. With its tongue firmly planted in its cheek this movie was actually fun to watch. Let’s put it this way; if you think that Ed Wood was a comic genius instead of a bad director you will understand where this movie is coming from. There is even a reference to ‘solaronite’ which was used in ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space’, an Ed Wood classic. This should be a tip off what direction this movie is coming from. The DVD has been released by Brightly Entertainment through Eclectic DVD Distribution. When you get tired of the pretentiously bad horror flick try one that is entertaining in its commitment to making you laugh. It is best to shut off the higher reasoning abilities of your brain as you watch; besides you really won’t need them.

This flick was written and directed by the team of Jonathan Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour. So far Gorman has only worked on what is soon to become the ‘Bikini Bloodbath’ trilogy. Seymour has been in the business for awhile as an actor and has written and directed several other films; mostly horror but with a touch of drama for good measure. At least you have to give them credit for one thing. The title is not misleading in any way, shape or form. There are plenty of bikinis, they are at a car wash and there is enough blood for a bunch of people to take a bath in it. The set up for the story does admittedly sound like something from a Cinemax at Night soft core flick so there is an element of spoofing that type of flick as well present here. Unlike the flicks that this movie makes fun of there is an actual story present; at least a scaffold of one any way. This story is a return to some of the films we used to watch on Friday or Saturday nights in the local drive in or grind house theaters. It is reminiscent of the old Roger Corman movies or almost anything distributed by Troma Pictures. The point is not to make a great film but to deliver on that is great fun to watch. This is pointed out for fans of these movies by including Debbie Rochon in the cast. She was a Troma scream queen staring in such memorable flicks as ‘Tromeo & Juliet’, ‘Terror Firmer’ and ‘Toxic Avenger 4’. Gorman and Seymour obviously have a great knowledge of this particular type of film. It shows that they are not only new film makers but fans of schlock flicks. There is a feeling here of a bunch of friends going out and having a good time and just cutting loose. Most of the cast and crew are friends of Gorman and Seymour and one has to wonder about how much beer and pizza was need to pull this together.

As co-directors this pair does a very good job of emulating the most enjoyable aspects of the classic grind house flicks. The also took a page from the great director Peter Jackson by filming all three ‘Bloodbath’ flicks at the same time. It may seem odd that for a film like this there was an overt concern for continuity but they took the step. It was without a doubt cheaper to do things this way since you have the overhead of production split between three movies. They pace the film well quickly getting right into the action. This is not intended to a suspense drive movie. There is also enough blood for any aficionados of any grind house movie. There was some female nudity present but not as much as you might think. We never did go to those movies as teens to discuss the inner meaning of the plot anyway.

The first shot is of Jenny (Rachael Robbins) asleep in her dorm room. Also there are her roommates as the alarm clock goes off. Jenny cranks up the blaring heavy metal music as she cheerfully rises from her bed but her roommate seem like she would rather sleep in. Of course they are all wearing nighties that that would seem more at home in some sleazy lingerie catalog. She goes over to Sharon’s bed and pulls the cover off. Sharon (Natalie Laspina) is wearing only a little pair of panties; her breasts stick up like a pair of unmoving mountains. Okay boys, first nudity one minute and twenty seconds into the flick; I think we have a world’s record here. The title of the flick is on the robes the girls pull on and the title card displays ‘Directed by who the f*** cares’. The girls earn money for their ‘studies’ by working with a group of other modesty challenged young women at a car wash owned by Mrs. Johnson (Debbie Rochon). I suppose all the girls there have character names but really; who cares? The guys watching this are going to refer to them by breast size, hair color and other physical descriptions any way. At school they run into the mandatory lecherous professor, Dr. Zartan (Dick Boland) who offers Jenny a chance to turn her D minus into a C minus and let Sharon watch. Well, let’s get to the horror part of the agenda. After work one day Jenny and the girls have a playful séance and inadvertently resurrect the heinous Chef Death (Robert Cosgrove Jr.) who rapidly becomes intent on killing all the nubile young ladies.

There are a lot of sight gags here such as Professor Shipwreck (Phil Hall) always is wearing a sailor’s hat or the obviously over aged college boys with tee shirts reading ‘College Student’. This reminded my of the genre labels like ‘Beer’ or ‘Drugs’ used in the cult classic ‘Repo Man’. The price sign at the car wash has selections like ‘Bikini Wax $6.90, Lube Job $69.00 and Muff Job $6.90’. Like a lot of the humor here it is quietly in the background but when you see it there is no subtly at all. There is even a few pop culture spoofs like one very funny piece making fun of the knife fight in Michael Jackson’s thriller video. Also included is a parody of the famous scar comparison scene from ‘Jaws’. They guys know their movie references.

Eclectic DVD Distribution certainly lives up to their name. I haven’t run across a lot of their films but I will be on the look out for them now. The video is offered as but letterboxed or full screen, a nice touch but go with the original aspect ratio. The audio is in a clear Dolby stereo. There are two main extras included. The first is ‘Bikini Bloopers’ which demonstrates that the cast and crew had a blast making this movie. There is also four little behind the scenes featurettes which are also very funny. This is a perfect flick for the times when friends come over and you want a really good laugh. Embrace the schlock; they did.

Posted 11/02/08

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