There is nothing new about dating shows on television. As far back as 1965 there was the venerable ‘Dating Game’ where one guy or gal would ask questions of three perspective dates, always of the opposite sex. The questions typically had some harmless double entendres like ‘If I was an ice cream cone how would you lick me?’ the person in the hot seat would make their selection and go off on a date, chaperoned of course, paid for by the network. Well, those days are long gone. While the idea of a dating series on television persists it has move a long way from the innocence of years gone by. Now you can’t go more than an hour or so while watching VH1 without hitting upon one of the new generation of dating shows; case in point, ‘I Love New York’. This is certainly one of the signs of the apocalypse. It is juvenile, gross, and has few if any redeeming qualities. This series is part of the nadir of the medium of television. There is little wonder that it is so popular and considered one of the great guilty pleasures on the tube today. Millions tune in and it is a standing part of VH1’s so called ‘Celebreality’ line up. When considering a series like this you have to play fast and loose with the English language. The actual accepted denotations for ‘celebrity’ and ‘reality’ are not to be considered in this context. For celebrity they mean someone who demeaned themselves previously on another series of this genre. As for reality it indicates that we are supposed to believe that the events were filmed as they happened and not influenced by writers, editors or directors. If you believe this is a series about the real life of a celebrity then please write me immediately; I have a bridge right here in Brooklyn that is priced to sell.

In this particular case the young lady, once again using both terms in the loosest possible way, is New York. She was born as Tiffany Pollard and given her nickname on her first appearance on the related show ‘Flavor of Love’ by Flavor Flav. She was rejected not once but twice by the big clock fellow. Now if you have ever seen Flavor Flav he looks sort of like the illegitimate offspring between Gollum and a cadaver. Being twice rejected by him would have sent most women into a nunnery but New York championed on and started her own series. The gentleman who won her fair hand did not stay around, imagine that. Now, just in time for season two New York is back on the market. Considering the fact that this season was one of the most watched on VH1 indicates that a lot of people out there are concerned with the romantic success of this woman. With such a life changing decision to be made New York sought some help. Back again from the first season is her mother, Michelle ‘Sister’ Patterson and her trusty bodyguard Anthony, better known as ‘Big Ant’. Together the trio put a group of twenty eligible bachelors. In the long standing, at least two years, tradition of these shows on VH1 each of the men get are assigned a name for the series. It kind of reminds me of the closing monologue in the old crime show ‘Dragnet’; ‘Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.’ In this case the men are far from innocent; they all seem to want a shot at some form of the entertainment industry and if they have to cozy up to New York too do it I suppose it is better than going on ‘Survivor’ and having to eat some animal’s genitalia although how much better is an open point of debate.

In each episode the contestants are put through some form of humiliation to prove themselves to New York and Sister Patterson. If they are able to sufficiently demonstrate their undying ardor for New York they are gifted with a medallion on a chain and are able to stay around for the next episode. In the first episode New York has to explain the need for season two; she was dumped by the winner of season one. Now this prize female is ready to try again for big ratings, I mean true love. What a catch she is. New York is rarely seen without a Newport cigarette in her mouth or showing her ample, enhanced cleavage with a mouth which would embarrass the most harden prisoner. The fact is she does have a natural sense of comedy. She can roll her eyes and contort her face in a humorous manner and plays the part with an undeniable style of her own. I can understand why this is a series that audiences flock to; you don’t have to think at all and within the ranks of the men there is a quick division of good and bad guys. The men are assembled in the mansion that apparently is owned by VH1; several of their reality shows are filmed here. I guess it is easier that way to just hose the whole place down between series. This time the public is given the illusion of being in on the show. Ten of the candidates where chosen by the producers, five by Sister Patterson and the last five by internet voting. This is just what any woman dreams of; having her true love selected by people taking a break from downloading pornography and illegal music to nominate someone. This particular group is more diverse than their predecessors. There is a lawyer, a former NFL player and a little person. His nickname was the politically incorrect ‘Midget Mac’ and during the requisite one on one face time with the camera they set up the shot so that only the top of his head is visible. During one aquatic based stunt Mac falls in the water and New York is worried about drowning a midget. Did anyone really think that sensitivity was going to be part of this series? One the men are introduced and they found out there are three groups; producer picks, internet favorites and momma’s boys, the tension mounts.

If you approach this series as if you were an anthropologist peering at some primitive group you can see the instant male posturing for the attention of the female. One of the momma’s boys boasts that he has the intelligence, looks and success to be a catch for any woman. One has to muse if all that is true why is he there whoring himself out on television? The contests included swimming, building an ad campaign for the ‘New York’ brand name and offering a blood oath to the lady of the house. The combination of close quarters, alcohol and an over abundance of testosterone there was bound to be some violence. The guys frequently get into shouting matches that then escalate into physical confrontation. This does result in some automatic dismissals since the lawyers don’t want violence to get too out of hand; just enough to ensure great ratings. There is so much humiliation to go around here that at one point the remaining contestants get to introduce New York and Sister Patterson to their families, Now that was actually pretty funny as the two sides get into it.

This is one of the most popular guilty pleasures around and it is funny. It is just that this pandering to the lower possible denominator. This series makes ‘Jerry Springer’ seem like ‘Masterpiece Theater’. Okay, you know you are out there, the fans of the series. It was one of the highest rated shows on VH1 so there is evidence that you are out there. Now you can get the complete season uncensored so you can now hear every curse word said and that is a lot of them.